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A new book: Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe

07 Feb

I’ve seen this book advertised on many of the blogs I read, and although the idea seemed wonderful, I found it easy to pass on the idea of reading it.  Since my oldest is almost 15, I didn’t think it was something I needed at this stage in Motherhood. Then simple advertising changed to several posts being written about it and even weekly book clubs talking about it. Since it doesn’t cost me anything to try a sample from Amazon, I decided to see what all the talk is about.

I read the sample in one sitting and immediately decided to purchase the book. It is a book for me, it is a book for all mom’s (if not all women). I even decided to follow one of the online book study!

Each chapter is real for me, and it is real for many of the women I know. As I read the text, the Lord brings women to my mind, women I want this with.

So far, here are some of the highlights i’ve taken from the chapters I’ve read:

foreword (by Ann Voskamp)

“My kids don’t need a super mama. They need to see a mama who needs a Super God”.

I have read this somewhere else before now. It is so true. Why do we spend so much of our time as moms being “supermom” instead of letting our kids see us fail and rely on God to be super for us? What does that teach our kids? “My mom is so strong”. . ., “she can do anything. . ., she doesn’t need anyone. . .. I want to be just like her. . .”  REALLY?

We can’t be afraid to fail, even in front of our kids. I know it’s not fun. It doesn’t feel good, it’s not pleasant, it certainly isn’t the ideal I have set up for myself, but it is the reality of who I am. I am fallen. I am sinful. I blow it, most of the times in front of my kids. I can be mad at myself, and will myself to do better tomorrow, or I can be honest with them, say “i’m sorry” and let them see me seeking God for help. and maybe just maybe teach them that they can’t do it either on their own, but they too need a super God. This lesson is much easy to write about than to do!

These “ideals” we make with our ourselves are discussed more in Chapter 1, Ideals and Going Under.

“the reason it hurt so much when I couldn’t live up  to my ideal was because I had imposed an impossible standard on myself. I forgot that I am a complex human being who has a sin problem”

“without a realistic vision, I was curshed before the season of motherhood even began”

How do we know if are the ideals we make are from God or from our own self?

“but to hear from God we must become women of the Word and women who pray, so that His voice may lead us as we grow into this role with grace”

“My identity as a mother would be wrapped up inextricably in the very place in which my moral character would be formed. My home, then, became my kingdom over which I longed to rule well and I was crafting lives, my won children, for His glory”

“Becoming a mother is a role that most women are ill- prepared for or ill-trained to understand, yet it has such  vast consequences in the course and direction of history.I have even come to believe that a mother’s role might be the most determining factor as to how history will unfold”

“I began to see that the nurturing of my children was my great stewardship in every part of their little lives. . . . .

It it too late? too late to see the big scheme of mothering or is it possible for us to ever see this too early in our journey as mothers? is it possible to step aside from the daily grind of homework and laundry and cleaning and chauffeuring, . and see that,  the influence,  THIS influence, THIS training, THIS love and THIS nurturing of our children is making their history.

Lord help me to “weed through and understand” which ideals that are from you and which I can let go of!

and the most recent chapter I have finished: Chapter 2 Go It Alone Culture (on needing people)

“I am such a loner, I like to be alone, I like to do my own thing, I think I’m just a loner”

“I was so used to toughing it out and taking care of all our family’s needs and losing sleep and caring for the kids alone that I didn’t even know how much I needed a real live friend who could communicate to me that I was not invisible and show me thoughtfulness that comes from a heart moved by the spirit of God.”

No amount of books read on parenting can replace the void of friendship and sharing one another’s burden. If fact, all the reading only risks giving us the false security that we don’t need anyone and can manage perfectly fine on our own.

“We need advocates. An advocate is someone who goes to bat for you, who watches out for you and protects you. That person is on your side and wants the best for you”

As women, God made us to be relational. Relational with one another, not just with books that pump of full of information. We have to get out there.  Make time to be with friends. Make a group for yourself. Don’t wait to be asked into one. We know what we need.  We must stop trying to be  martyrs and lying to ourselves that we don’t need anyone. Yes we are tired, yes it will take a lot of effort to add something more to my schedule but this is what I NEED, this is how God made me and how He will bless me.

These are just SOME of the very important and unique things discussed this this incredible new book; there is so much more! I highly recommend you get a copy for yourself and see what things God teaches you from it! Happy reading!

 

 

 

 

 
 

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